After 9/11, I had recurring dreams of hooping with firemen, children and fellow New Yorkers. Iāve always listened to my dreams so in October, I quit my job as a sous chef in Aspen and returned to NY. For the next 2 years, I developed my Kids Hoop Warrior Program and fine tuned my Hoop Core program for adults. My programs were already styled to increase balance, flexibility, mind-body awareness and core power. I added specific movements, breathwork and visualization to help in PTSD recovery.
That same year, I had a brain injury in my right frontal lobe. I slammed my head into a steel beam while jumping onto stage, for a dress rehearsal, at the old Limelight nightclub in NYC. This was the worst injury out of my 4 head injuries. The other 3 were all concussions from hitting the ground with my head, while snowboarding without a helmet. I lost consciousness and broke my ankles all 3 times. This last injury was more like a stroke. I had slurred speech and impaired motor skills. I had NO short term memory, lost a lot of long term memories and couldnāt problem solve. I lost my facial expressions and humor. I could feel my brain swelling every time I had more than one thought at the same time. To this day, when my nervous system gets too stressed, which is most of the time, I experience a bit more issues with coping and calming myself down than prior to this injury.
My doctor from Rusk Institute in NYC said that, had I not been using my Hoop Core program for the past few years, my proprioception, motor skills, balance and speech would be significantly worse than it was. They suggested that I spend
the night in the hospital and start neurolinguistic reprogramming for my speech and memory. I didnāt have the money for this.
Cats are Angels
My brain had a significant amount of swelling. It would have been easier if I had a family member or a friend close by. My entire family had already died and I didnāt have any friends who still lived in that area. I forgot what the doctor said, except to rest and try not to think, as any mental activity would increase inflammation and pressure in the brain. This was very hard. He also said that I needed someone to wake me up every hour or so. None of my housemates wanted to do this but thankfully, Spock, the cat owned by one of them, came through. He would press his paws into my head every night. When I didnāt wake up, heād sit on my head. He was truly an angel.
CT Scan
My cognition and motor skills were significantly impaired for one or two months. Most of this time was foggy but I do remember how I used mind over matter to reduce brain swelling and anxiety from mental confusion. (I wish I can do that with limiting my brownie intake or that third drink of whisky..)
I lost all short term memory. The first week of the injury, I tried to find a doctor in the phone book. Iād forget what I was looking for and get confused as to how to write in down. Iād get up to find a pen and wander around for an hour, forgetting what I needed. Eventually Iād have the pen and phonebook. That took another hour or so to remember who I was looking for. My speech was slurred. My neck/head coordination was disconnected and shaky at best. My tongue felt too big for my mouth and many times, Iād forget to swallow. My legs felt weak yet heavy. I would drag them when walking and to get up to the third floor attic room that I rented. I remember sitting on the staircase for an hour or so. My body couldnāt figure out how to lift my legs. The only things I could do
without thought, were to sleep, go to the bathroom, breathe and sometimes eat. My brain and motor skills were āofflineā. My only sense of safety and physical space, was to feel my breath. So thatās what I focused on.
One Breath, One Thought, One Movement
In 1999 – 2001, I lived in an Ashram outside of San Diego. I had already been teaching my Hoop Core program for two years as well as getting certified and teaching Anusara Yoga. I still call the community and land my home. We had week long intensives for Kundalini, Tibetan and Hatha Yoga. This included chanting, meditation, breathwork, reading from scriptures, music education, nutritional cooking, hot/cold therapy and Whirling Dervish Ceremony (my favorite!) Aside from years of rock climbing, it was in these yogic practices that I developed my skill for āone pointed focusā. This proved to be the single most important factor in limiting brain swelling and carving a path back to having clear cognition.
It was a constant effort to keep my brain from swelling. So much pressure was in my head at times it felt like it could explode. If I had friends or family around, Iām certain they would have taken me back to the hospital. Iād lay in bed and have thoughts. Most were fear based; that of being alone and confused. Some were the usual fleeting useless thoughts. I became highly aware that even one thought, on repeat, would cause my brain to swell. The thought would create a counter thought and then my body would react. Sending hormones and signals to parts of my brain and body. I had to figure out how to get out of a reactive state altogether. This seemed near impossible as my brain/body was still used to firing on all cylinders. My mental training at the Ashram was an amazing foundation for this. But I was still lost. I knew Iād stay in āconflictā (active mind) if I tried to make my mind or body do anything. This uses the energy of attachment and control. So I started with my breath and with The Great Prajnaparamita, Heart Sutra.
āForm is emptiness and emptiness is form.”
“There is no eye, ear, nose, tongue, body or mind. No form, sound, smell, taste, touch or attachment. No hindrance of the mind, no hindrance and therefore no fearā¦.ā
I would recite the long prayer dozens of times while laying in bed. As soon as I felt ācellular excitementā as I call it, my brain would swell. Iād feel tons of pressure in my head like I was scuba diving without an oxygen tank.
I didnāt sleep much. I guess you could say that for those long days and nights which turned into the longest, forced meditation ever, I became proficient at stopping thought, and in turn, stop brain swelling. I also had to stop the emotion of fear that followed. I did this by my own very basic guided breathwork. Iād say ‘ābreathe inā and my breath would follow. Iād say ābreathe outā and Iād exhale. Only challenge was that Iād do this for hours without interruption. Then Iād direct the breath to go to my feet. Then my legs. Then my fingers and so on. I became aware and connected to my physical form and how it felt in space and gravity. This increased my proprioception (my bodyās awareness of itās position and movement in space) I pictured my tendons and bones and cells and skin, all connected and in gravity.
A.B.C. Chiropractic
My dad was an amazing chiropractor and Iād often learn how to correct structural misalignment on his patients, who were in the home office. One night, maybe a week or so after my concussion, I went for a drive. I donāt remember if I was looking for a chiropractor or not. Magically, I saw a lighted sign that said Chiropractic! Scott was about to close. I explained to him, with very slurred speech, about my accident. When I left his office, my brain had quite a bit less pressure. I felt grounded and a bit more balanced in my lower body than I had felt since my injury. I think I saw him weekly. Without him, I doubt I would have healed so well. His style is Advanced Biostructural Chiropractic.
Sharing the Force of Nature with Others
Moving back to NY to Aspen, CO 1992 gave me a deep connection and respect for imparting the earthly elements into my everyday life and into my classes, so that everyone could experience the power and peacefulness that nature offers. My connection to the elements, has been whatās healed me through abuse, Bulimia, family illness, lots of deaths, as well as personal injuries like broken ankles, ribs, concussions, sever nerve damage, partial paralysis, ruptured discs and bursa sacs.
Hoop Warrior Wellness
This is a high energy program which combines guided and freestyle movements through Earth, Water, Fire and Air. Styled with specific music, this imparts; strength, flexibility, playfulness and calmness in the mind and body. It connects us to a larger force that sometimes, is unforgiving and sometimes has grace. The first time I got into the hoop since my accident, was very odd. My balance and spatial awareness were horrible. I remember standing outside with my bare feet on the grass, and simulating movements in my core and hips first. I practiced moving slowly through all the 4 Rhythms. The hoop continued to fall, which it rarely ever did. It took about a week or so to spin it just a few times. I knew that this would help me with activating certain muscles to fire and strengthen my balance. This worked! It took about four months of working in the hoop, for my brain and muscles to start reconnecting, while in motion and in stillness. This was my form of cognitive behavior training, physical therapy, increasing neuroplasticity and realigning with source.